Welcome back Gleeks! The winter finale has arrived and it’s being touted as a shocking, game changer! We all know there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that New Directions are going to lose at Regionals so what could the shocker be? If you read last week’s Glee-kly Recap, you’ll know what my theory is but I’ve been wrong oh-so many times before. If you haven’t read it:
Let’s dive in, shall we?
Rachel and Kurt are at the Lima Bean, minding their own bidness when up walks a typically smug Sebastian. Not one to waste any time on niceities he gets right to what will surely be the first stage of his evil plan to try and rob New Directions of their inevitable Regionals win. He shows them a picture he’s (obviously) photoshopped of a nude Finn Hudson (well, his face on a nude body) wearing red high heels which he threatens to post all over the internet if Rachel doesn’t drop out of Regionals. Multiple insults are exchanged between he and Kurt as Rachel sits, mouth agape in shock. He tells her she has 24 hours to decide before he hits the upload button. (GLEE!)
Meanwhile, back in the choir room news of this has been brought back to New Directions and they are NOT happy. Artie’s done the research and Sebastian’s behavior is in violation of show choir competition rules. While some want to get The Warblers disqualified, others (like Finn) just want to kick Sebastian’s ass. (Sugar, among the flurry of opinions, says “If someone posted a picture like that of me, I would probably kill myself.” Foreshadowing?) Rachel tries to comfort Finn but reveals she isn’t dropping out of Regionals, after all she needs this competition to help her get into NYADA. He doesn’t take this well and storms out after spitting back “Hope you get in”.
Later, Quinn is called to Coach Sylvester’s office. Sue tells Quinn that she is with child but refuses to tell who the father is. (Why do I have a bizarre feeling it’s somehow Mr. Schue?) Quinn, having gone through all of this before, gives Sue some tips about living as a mommy-to-be and afterwards she asks Sue if she would allow her to re-join the Cheerios but Sue says it’s not fair to those that girls that didn’t quit and refuses.
Angry Blaine is pacing in the auditorium, Kurt enters, sensing his anger, and tells him not to worry about Sebastian. Blaine (sort-of) snaps at him, stopping to say he’s not mad at Kurt he just wants to focus on winning Regionals and he wants to run a new song idea by Kurt for the competition.
Cut to Dave Karofsky entering the boys locker room at his school. A sense of dread suddenly overtakes me because as I mentioned in last week’s recap – I’ve had my predictions about how Dave’s story might end since the bullying saga began in Season 2 and in this moment it looks like I was right – just a year and a half early.
As he walks through the locker room, it’s obvious something is up as everyone stares him down. He walks through them, sensing something but trying to act normal until he looks up and sees “FAG” written in pink across his locker.
Blaine begins to sing “Cough Syrup” by Young The Giants as Karosfky is pushed around by his peers as he tries to escape the locker room, fighting back tears. Next we see him in attic bedroom as he realizes that it’s been posted all over social media that he’s gay. He cries as we see him handling the most sinister piece of broken CD jewel case ever and later a wrings a leather belt in his hands as he moves around the room. The tension is palpable, like we can feel him smothering in his panic. He gets dressed in a suit with tears pouring down his face and goes into his walk-in closet (interesting choice, Murphy). He looks up at a large rafter, the belt still in his hand and steps up onto a chair before everything goes black.
We come next to Principal Figgins’ office where he’s discussing how they can break it to the student body about Karofsky’s suicide attempt. (That’s right folks, attempt. We can all breathe again!)
They discuss the prevalence of cyber-bullying in today’s society and how they all wish they could have done something to help, even a rather emotional Sue who sensed something was up with Karofsky when she was interim principal last year. We learn that Karofsky’s Father found him in time and see a short but terrifying glimpse of his reaction and go right back to breathlessness.
Cut to the latest God Squad meeting where item #1 on the agenda is to pray for Karosfky. Quinn argues that Karofsky’s actions were selfish and uses her own tough times to justify her judgement of how he handled his as Kurt walks in and overhears. He tells her that while her experiences were surely difficult for her, that she can’t possibly know how it feels to have everyone suddenly hate her and reveals that the same cyber bullies who pushed Dave to his act are now encouraging him to give suicide another try.
Quinn asks why Kurt is even there, given that he doesn’t believe in God and Joe “Teen Jesus” Hart reveals he invited him because Kurt wanted to come and pray for Dave too. Kurt tells them that he feels partially responsible for what happened because after turning Dave’s advances down on Valentine’s Day he has ignored several phone calls and text messages from him and feels like he might have been able to stop this from happening if he’d answered the phone. Mercedes tells him that the God Squad are going to visit Karofsky in the hospital and asks him to come along.
Finn & Rachel make up in the hallway. Finn tells her that nothing anyone could do or say would ever drive him to suicide. Rachel says she won’t perform at Regionals but he tells her that she has to and he doesn’t care if Sebastian posts the pictures. Rachel, shaken by this event in their lives and feeling like life is too short to wait, tells him that she wants to get married as soon as Regionals is over.
Sebastian calls New Directions to the Lima Bean. Santana comes in guns-a-blazing but Sebastian quickly reveals he’s here to call a truce. It seems that when Karofsky and Sebastian first met at Scandals he wasn’t very nice to him and hearing of his suicide attempt has made him see the error of his very slimy ways. He says all of the pictures of Finn have been destroyed and he apologizes to Blaine for the slushie incident, looking him very sincerely in the eyes. He says that the Warblers want to win fair and square and are dedicating their performance to Karofsky and collecting donations for the Born This Way foundation at the performance and want New Directions to do the same. The world remains skeptical that Sebastian can really be redeemed so easily.
Cut to the auditorium stage, where all of New Directions are sitting in a circle. Mr. Schue has called them all there to talk (indirectly) about Karofsky’s suicide attempt. He starts by telling the group that Rory has never tried peanut butter. (What? They don’t have peanut butter in Ireland?) He presents a jar of peanut butter and Rory tries it and exclaims that it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted! PREACH, Leprechaun!
When the others question the motives behind this conversation, Mr. Schue reveals that one day when he was in high school he got caught cheating on a test and he was so worried about having to face his Father that he ran to the roof and thought about taking his life, the lesson here being that if he had he would have missed out on so many great experiences. He asks them all to say something aloud that they are looking forward to and asks them to promise they’ll never let anything get them so down that they would hurt themselves. It all ends with Rory telling the group that he’s looking forward to their winning Regionals and everyone agrees.
So the time has come. Regionals is here and this time it’s at McKinley on home turf! (Wait wasn’t Sectionals at McKinley this year, too? Unlikely?) First we meet the judges who honestly seem to get less guest-starry and more ridiculous with every new competition. Up first, the Dalton Academy Warblers with a couple of upbeat ditties.
First they sing a song called “Stand” which is apparently a Lenny Kravitz song, though I never would have expected that after hearing it. It’s a catchy track, but truthfully I don’t think Sebastian is believeable as a frontman and I’ve truly never understood why the Warblers are all about having only one lead vocalist. It’s a show choir; it should be a group effort!
Finn – overcome by emotion knowing he’ll be marrying Rachel in a few hours, stands and starts clapping for them. When asked by another competitor why he would cheer his competition he says: “Life’s too short!” Before long, the crowd joins him on their feet.
At the end of the number, Sebastian calls attention to the collection plates for Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation. Know what would have been classy Glee? If sales from the Warbler’s songs on iTunes this week ACTUALLY went to this foundation… (P.S. If this happened, i didnt hear abouy it.)
Next up, “Glad You Came” by UK boyband: The Wanted. Enjoy!
I have to say, this number was well choreographed but I think it pointed out Sebastian’s shortcomings as a frontman even more. It’s not that he’s bad he’s just doesn’t have Blaine’s charisma on stage and without that it seems the Warblers (to me) are flatter than ever.
The second group (traditionally the comic relief) take the stage. They are called “The Golden Goblets” and they come from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow High School. Despite their being on screen for all of 5 seconds I can’t resist showing an image of them in medieval costume. Ridiculous!!
In the dressing room, New Directions are preparing for their set when Finn announces to the group that immediately after the show he and Rachel are going to the Justice of the Peace to get married. There are some happy faces and not so happy faces but no one protests (Wait, didn’t the preview for this episode show what seemed to be a big, INTENSE argument about this?) They ask everyone, despite their varying opinions about this wedding, to come with them to the ceremony AFTER they win. Everyone cheers!
First they perform a pleasant but mostly underwhelming mash-up of “Fly” by Nicki Minaj and “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly. The crowd are on their feet so it seems they disagree with me. It ends better than it begins.
If you recall a couple of months ago when The Troubletones lost at Sectionals and our core group were re-united, it was agreed that the Troubletones would get one song at competitions. The weirdest part about that as they take the stage for what will be the BEST (hands down) performance of the competition is that suddenly we have a bunch of performers on stage who aren’t there for either of the other New Directions songs. I feel like this wouldn’t be allowed in competition. Why exactly aren’t these additional girls performing as background singers/dancers on the other numbers like the band nerds did at Sectionals? Watch the full, AMAZING performance below:
For their last number, Rachel takes the stage as lead in “Here’s to Us” by Halestorm. As far as I’m concerned, this was my least favorite song and an awful choice to finish the competition, but since the other teams were extra underwhelming and we know this is Rachel/Finn/Kurt’s last year – they’re going to win!
A late-night horror movie TV show host takes the stage to announce the winners (in a coffin no less). Third Place: Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow (Yay!). He then announces that the 2012 Regionals champions are none other than New Directions! Blaine, looking compassionate now that Sebastian is seemingly redeemed (not buying it) heads over to shake his hand while the adorable Sugar Motta dashes to the front of the stage to hug our vampire judge!
Next we see Quinn heading into Coach Sylvester’s office. Sue’s had a change of heart it seems. She tells Quinn that she’s always admired her and that while she used to think it was because she saw her as a younger version of herself that she’s realized it’s actually because of all the ways she is not. She says that Quinn has proven that it’s never too late to turn your life around and gives her back her Cheerios uniform, welcoming her back to the team.
Immediately, Quinn gets into her uniform and runs into Rachel in the hallway. She tells Rachel that she’s had a change of heart about the wedding and wants to be there and to be a bridesmaid. The two hug as we watch Quinn’s face, which for once in a very long time looks to be genuinely happy. Quite a 180 from the angry, bitter Quinn we saw in the season opener and through the whole Puck/Shelby/Beth fiasco!
WARNING: It’s time now if you ran out of tissues to go and grab another box! We’ll wait…
Welcome back! So next we cut to Karofsky’s hospital room. Kurt arrives with tears in his eyes and a bouquet of flowers. (Even before Colfer or Adler start to speak this scene is an Emmy contender.) Karofsky’s eyes are devastatingly telling as he tells Kurt he’s been removed from 72-hour watch and he’ll be released from hospital the next day. Kurt apologizes for not answering his calls after their Valentine’s Day date but Dave seems to understand. He tells Kurt that he doesn’t know what to do, because after making Kurt’s life a living hell back at McKinley the same thing happened to him and he “couldn’t even last a week”. He reveals that his best friend turned his back on him completely and his Mom thinks his sexuality is a disease that can be cured. He cries as he realizes that he “can’t go back to that school”, seemingly defeated.
“Then go to another school”, Kurt reasons with him. He assures Dave that things might suck sometimes but that he’s going to get through it and vows to help him. He uses Mr. Schue’s lesson from the auditorium a few days before and asks Dave to close his eyes and imagine 10 years down the road when he’s successful and has a partner and a child and Dave seems to have a breakthrough. Hope returns to his ryes and he asks if Kurt meant it when he said he wanted to be his friend. Kurt assures him he does and takes his hand.
What’s that world? You just ran out of tissues AGAIN? Several minutes still remain!
Sue approaches Will to congratulate him on the Regionals win and tells him she’s with child. She also tells him that she wants to help New Directions win Nationals and that she has no alterior motives. (More reason to think that maybe Will is somehow the Father. Sperm donation, maybe? hmm…) Will seems understandably skeptical. (Again – didn’t they show Will asking who the father was and Sue beaming in the preview!? How many scenes did they cut!?)
At the court house, Rachel and Finn’s parents are freaking out and trying to figure out a way to stop the wedding without actually just telling the kids they forbid it. Meanwhile, Rachel and Finn are all dressed up in full wedding mode. (Pssst.. I don’t think Justice of the Peace weddings are usually so elaborate, are they?) Finn is blown away by how beautiful Rachel looks (and really, she does but goddamit Finn! Seeing the bride before the wedding is bad luck!).
Rachel gets a text from Quinn that she had to run home to get her dress (since before the Regionals win she wasn’t planning on attending). Of course, Rachel isn’t pleased!
Quinn seems to be stuck behind a very slow moving tractor on her way home to get the dress. She seems somewhat distracted, checking herself in the mirror and eyeing her phone. Rachel, ever the princess she is, sends her multiple text messages telling her to hurry.
It’s a classic TV set-up. We know immediately what is about to happen and we are powerless to stop it. As we cut back and forth between a pacing bride, her rather familiarly dressed, ode-to-film-of-same-name “Bridesmaids” and an impatient Quinn at the wheel it becomes evident that everyone is running out of time. The soon-to-be newlyweds only have 5 minutes left in their booked timeslot and if they don’t start the wedding now they will have to cancel. Rachel sends one last text message to her once-enemy-turned-friend: “WHERE ARE YOU???”
Quinn checks the road ahead of her and it looks completely clear now as she hears a text message come in. Assuming it’s safe, she takes her eye off the road to check her messages. She starts to type the words “ON MY WAY” as she blindly approaches and enters an intersection. We hear a car horn sound loudly as we watch a pickup truck slam into the driver’s side window and everything goes black. [The-End]
Wowza.. not only was that one of the most emotionally draining episodes of Glee, EVER but we have to WAIT UNTIL MID-APRIL to know Quinn’s fate!!? This is an outrage! Ok, well not really because it was a completely amazing overall episode, but MAN!!! THAT is how you do a “mid-winter finale”.
- Predictions I made so very long ago actually came true. Even if I was late, it’s obvious that I truly do have a connection to The Pop Gods.
- My only beef with this episode is that most of the scenes used in the promos for it weren’t actually in the episode at all. What gives, Ryan Murphy?
- OH! and we still haven’t seen Lauren Zices! Geez, she could at least show up now and then in the hallway at McKinley! (I miss you Ashley Fink)
As far as I can tell, there are a few possible outcomes here:
- Quinn dies. (Extremely unlikely that they would follow up such a dark episode with a darker one.)
- Quinn is completely fine. While before things fade to black we see the glass in her window break, perhaps the loud horn (that didn’t even seem to take her attention away from the phone) drowned out the sound of screeching breaks and her window will be broken but she’ll be relatively unharmed.
- Quinn is seriously injured and probably paralyzed. She forms a bond with Artie in the wake of disaster and finds love. “Quartie” is born. (For some reason I wouldn’t mind this one, but hope she’s ok!)
I feel it’s safe to say that it’s likely Finn and Rachel may marry (or attempt to) before they find out about Quinn. Or Quinn, in the wreckage will hit dial and call for help and the wedding will end without any intervention required from the parentals.
Regardless of the outcome we won’t know until April so sit tight Gleeks! It’s gonna be a long and very impatient wait!
As always, thank you for reading my extremely long-winded recap and please feel free to discuss and comment. I love to hear your feedback!
Until next time, Don’t Stop Believin’!