The Glee-kly Recap: Gleeks Get a “Heart” On for Valentine’s Day!

Welcome back Gleeks! Some of you may have noticed that I missed out on recapping the last episode of Glee: “The Spanish Teacher. Forgive me Pop Gods for I have sinned. I didn’t get a post up for that episode for the following reasons:

  • An unfortunate head cold had me incapacitated and heavily medicated throughout most of the week, which contributed to a lack of energy and drive. Add to that a local transit strike and a 45 minute to an hour walk both to and from work each day. No fun!
  • The tragic death of legendary diva Whitney Houston on 2/11/2012 truly affected and upset me. (See Post)
  • The episode (outside of the immaculate beauty of Ricky Martin) was pretty CRAPPY and uninspiring. The only thing that happened of significance is that Will Schuster is no longer McKinley High’s spanish teacher and he’s now going to be teaching History class. (P.S. I will probably go back and write a recap during an upcoming, devastatingly long hiatus but we’ll get to that in about 3400 words. I don’t play around.)

Luckily this week we have LOTS to talk about! So let’s get to it!

We begin in the choir room as Mr. Schue announces that this week’s assignment is to sing the “World’s Greatest Love Songs” in honor of Valentine’s week. On top of the festivities, he mentions that the group are going to go from class to class performing these songs for a fee to fundraise for their trip to regionals. Scarred by the Christmas caroling fiasco from Season 2’s holiday episode, New Directions have mixed feelings about this idea. Luckily this year they have a secret weapon in a spoiled, rich little Daddy’s girl with Asperger’s Syndrome. The fabulous Sugar Motta offers up the money New Directions need for Nationals to the relief of her fellow Glee clubbers. Mr Schue is reluctant but Kurt “Take It!” Hummel insists.

On top of saving the day, Sugar announces that Valentine’s Day is her favorite holiday and in addition to surprise V-Day chocolates she has brought for everyone, she also is having a huge party at a newly redecorated Breadstix courtesy of her rich Daddy and everyone is invited! She also reveals that Lima’s only restaurant will be re-branded “The Sugar Shack” for this momentous occasion.  There is only one condition; all of those in attendance MUST have a date. No singles allowed!! Since Sugar herself is a single lady, she alludes that she`s currently looking for some man candy (Cut to Artie, then to Rory.) (GLEE!)

Finn and Rachel arrive in the auditorium, neither sure why they are there and were unaware they would run into each other. Both had received an invitation requesting their presence and they walk down the steps towards the stage in bewilderment. We hear some voices singing “Going to the chapel and we’re.. gonna get married…” and Finn asks Rachel: “Is that your Dads?”

As it turns out, it is! We finally meet the rest of the Berry family. (Played by guest stars Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell) It turns out they have been informed that Rachel and Finn plan to marry. Surprisingly enough, they seem to be here to tell Finchel that they support the marriage if they’re sure they want to spend their lives together and they’ve truly thought it through. Rachel and Finn are elated but there’s a certain look of disbelief on Finn’s face (and Berry Dad #1: Hiram (Goldblum) for that matter ) that indicate it seems too good to be true.

Cut to a classroom where we get to look in on a meeting of the “God Squad” – McKinley High’s club for Christian students. Mercedes seems to be the leader of the club and she welcomes Quinn back to the Squad after a “long absence” and introduces us to new student: Joseph Hart (played by Glee Project winner Samuel Larsen) who Quinn calls a “teen Jesus”. Considering that the only other God Squad member is Sam Evans, it seems perhaps this club was just Mercedes until a couple of weeks ago. Sam suggests that since the Glee club turned down the singing telegram gig that maybe the God Squad can use the money for their community service projects.

In the cafeteria, several members of New Directions discuss Sugar’s upcoming party. Kurt reveals that Blaine is still at home recovering, but that he’s been sending him a new Valentine’s Day card every day of this week. Artie questions why Kurt thinks the cards are from Blaine when he notices today’s card is addressed from “your secret admirer”. Suddenly a large gorilla with a “Gorilla Gram” and a bunch of red/white balloons appears with another gift for Kurt – once again addressed from his Secret Admirer. Kurt continues to think it’s from Blaine while the rest of the world immediately knows exactly what is going on here. After gloating about how great his boyfriend is, Kurt asks who Rory is taking to Sugar’s party. Rory says he’s asking Sugar, but is cut-off by Artie who was planning the same. The two boys throw down the gauntlet, it seems. This means war.

Mike and Tina finally get the duet we’ve all been waiting for in their version of Nat King Cole standard “L-O-V-E”. (On a side note: Remember when we were all so mad that they broke up Tina and Artie? Me neither!) Once again I am SMITTEN with Mike Chang. While the duo flawlessly perform the completely adorable number, we see a montage of Rory/Artie’s competition for Sugar’s affections. (Without getting into details since this is all just comedy, imagine lots of Valentine’s day one-upmanship with Sugar bouncing and clapping in excitement.)

In the cutest (and basically only) Brittana moment we’ve had all year (which is sort-of about to be addressed) Brittany approaches her girl holding a decorated laptop. She says she wanted to make Santana a CD of “all the songs that play in my head when I’m with you” but she couldn’t get past making the playlist without help. She also made the most adorable cover image. The world lets out a collective “awwwwwww”. (Check out the songs below on the playlist, however.  I dare you not to “LOL”. How Romantic!)

As they move in for a slow-motion kiss they are stopped by Principal Figgins and called to his office. Apparently a student has filed a complaint about their public displays of affection. Santana is furious, recounting having to watch Finchel make out on a regular basis. Figgins has to comply as their complaint was “for religious reasons” which only further fuels Santana’s anger.

Meanwhile back in the choirroom, Rachel and Finn announce to the club that they’ll be marrying (to mixed reviews from the crowd) despite what they think was Mr. Schue’s attempt to sabotage them by telling her parents. Kurt reveals he was the one who ratted them out because he thinks they’re making a big mistake. Several members of the group voice their opinions, both good and bad, before Artie (ever the peacemaker) says they should stop the fighting because he needs to win his own fight for Sugar’s affection and this conversation is cramping his considerable style.

As with all Glee battles, this one is in song and Artie (with the help of Sam, Kurt, Puck and Mike Chang) pulls out his best boyband moves when he sings Mario’s 2004 hit “Let Me Love You” as Sugar looks on, seemingly lovestruck. At the end of the very smooth and seductive number, Sugar hops into Artie’s lap and asks him to wheel her to class while Rory gives him the stink eye, seemingly defeated.

Outside in what I suppose I will call the courtyard, Rachel – who is wearing THE MOST ADORABLE red trenchcoat is talking to Santana who tells her she supports her and Finn getting married in her own backhanded way. They’re approached by The God Squad with a singing telegram for Rachel from Finn. Led by Joseph “Teen Jesus” Hart, they sing Gym Class Heroes hit “Stereo Hearts” and we find out that Trouty Mouth has some skillz in the rapping department. This is a really fun little number (despite the ridiculousness of a gospel choir showing up). Best of all, for the first time background people don’t only acknowledge that there is a musical number happening but they actually seem to enjoy it! IMAGINE!!

At the end of the number, a still fired-up Santana approaches the God Squad to ask the pricing for a vocal valentine and to confirm that she can send it to whomever she wants. Joseph tells her it’s $10.00 and that’s exactly how it works, and she can send it to anyone. Santana tucks the $10.00 into Joe’s guitar strings and tells him it’s for her girlfriend – making no mistake that she means it in the biblical sense. (Pun intended.)  Teen Jesus is concerned.

Back in the choir room, Rachel and Finn are being sappy as usual when Kurt announces he’s received yet another card from his secret admirer (still assuming it’s Blaine while everyone else knows exactly who it’s from). Mr. Schue takes up his tenth second of screen time thus far to tell the group that Rory has something to say. Rory reveals that despite his best efforts to arrange to stay, that he will have to return to Ireland at the end of the semester and that while he misses his family, it’s bittersweet because all of them have become family to him. He sings the rather appropriate Michael Buble ballad: “Home”.

Is it just me or does it seem like Rory always has some sob story to share with the group? Seriously, he is such a downer! I liked him better when he was pretending to be a Leprechaun. It seems Sugar is easily swayed by a pity party and since she now feels worse for Rory than for Artie, she asks him to be her date to the Sugar Shack, and he agrees.

The God Squad meet to discuss whether or not they will endorse a singing telegram to a lesbian student. Since everyone but Joe is fine with singing to Brittany and Santana, they tell Joe to think about how he feels about it and Quinn adds that being Christian is about being honest and truthful not only to others but to yourself and it strikes a chord in Mercedes.

Later, in the hallway, Sam walks up to Mercedes with a heart-shaped box containing a statue of St. Valentine that he made for her. Mercedes tells Sam that she came clean with Shane about her and Sam kissing and that she broke his heart and feels terrible. She adds that she can’t be with him because “when it comes to love I don’t know who I am”. Sam is devastated and walks away. In a spooky coincidence considering the real-world death of legend Whitney Houston just days ago, she turns to watch him walk away and begins the opening lines of “I Will Always Love You”. The number finishes in the choir room and when Mercedes finishes singing, a crying Sam gets up in a hurry and leaves the room.

Next we head to Chez Berry, where Rachel & Dads are performing for a rather uncomfortable looking Burt, Carole and Finn. After the soon to be in-laws eat dinner, things start getting weirder. Rachel’s Dads reveal that it’s time to get to the “teenage lovemaking”, explaining that while they’re young, since Finchel will be getting married they might as well start acting like a married couple. Burt and Carole agree and reveal they packed Finn an overnight bag and they’ve made plans to go out and enjoy an evening to themselves. The young couple seem surprised by this sudden endoresement from their parents to be sexually active, but head off to Rachel’s room excitedly. This is obviously a set-up, otherwise we have some pretty twisted parentals here.

Up in Rachel’s bedroom, the couple decide that they will not be having any sexual relations with her Dads in the same house and Rachel heads off to the bathroom to do her evening beauty regimen. Finn, shocked by how intensive her evening routine is, asks if he can go potty and all hell breaks loose which results in an argument. (Cut to Rachel’s Dads having a toast as they overhear the bickering). Finn gets angry and flees the room, leaving Rachel fuming.

Kurt arrives at the Sugar Shack a bit early for the party to meet Blaine (or so he thinks). After looking around the room he believes that his secret admirer hasn’t arrived yet and strikes up a conversation with one of the employees setting up for the party. She gestures towards the door and low and behold – there stands the same guy in a gorilla costume who earlier delivered his gorilla gram. Kurt, still assuming it’s Blaine in there, approaches and takes a box of candy from the gorilla excitedly. Opening the card, he reads it aloud: “Deat Kurt, Happy Valentine’s Day! I think I love you” as a puzzled look crosses his face. He says: “Wait.. you THINK you love me?” as the gorilla reaches to remove his mask.

Behind the mask is none other than Dave Karofsky. Anyone who’s watched any of the scenes these two have had together already knew that Dave fell in love with Kurt a long time ago. Despite my knowing full-well from the beginning of this episode that the secret admirer would be him, I still let out an audible *GASP* and immediately began to sob. Max Adler conveys so much emotion with the most subtle expressions. This is what so many of us have been waiting for ALL season. (Sorry Klaine fans, Kurtofsky forever!)

The two talk and Karofsky confesses that when he was at McKinley he hated who he was and he took it out on Kurt because he was so comfortable with himself and he wanted that too. He thanks Kurt for how much he’s helped him to accept himself and says that he’s wanted to contact him since the night they ran into eachother at Scandals. It’s obvious that Kurt doesn’t feel the same way from the get-go and it’s painful because Adler plays heartbroken and afraid so well. He tries to let Dave down easy but Karofsky gets up to leave with tears in his eyes. Seeing as they are in Lima’s only restaurant, unfortunately someone from Karofsky’s new school sees them and seems to catch on to what’s happening. Kurt tries to cover for him but the damage appears to be done and Karofsky runs out.

I’m not going to lie, I’m really quite concerned…

Back at the Berry house, it seems the devious parental plan has backfired as Finchel have already made up and realized that if they are to marry they will have to learn to compromise and co-habitate. They are snuggled up ever so cutely in bed when they realize it’s only 7:15pm. They decide to get ready and head for the Sugar Shack!

Downstairs, her Dads are discussing that they truly do not support Finchel getting married so young. Their approach is reverse psychology; pretending to support the marriage in order to make them realize they’re not ready for it. As the couple are on their way to Breadstix they reveal to dear old Dads that they not only made up but they’ve decided that they should get married as soon as possible – in MAY!

At the Sugar Shack, Ms. Motta thanks everyone for coming to her party and showers them with expensive gifts from her father, who she takes a moment to add – is not in the Mafia (Hmm?). She introduces The God Squad, who are the evening’s entertainment.

Joseph begins by saying that Santana asked him to sing a song for her girlfriend Brittany and reveals that after a long time praying and thinking about it he’s decided that “love is love, man!” and they sing Brittanna a mash-up of “Cherish/Cherish” (The Association/Madonna) which finds us seeing cute couple moments all over the room. Happy moments aside, we have Artie who can see that Sugar really seems to be falling for Rory and Kurt who is still Blaine-less and confused about Karofsky’s confession. The number ends with the most adorable Brittanna kiss ever, which makes up for the complete lack of Brittana affection we’ve seen all season.

Just when Kurt couldn’t look any more miserable, Sugar reveals that she has a special guest! Blaine! Rocking a cute Valentine’s Day eye patch (which he quickly does away with) as he takes the stage to perform the B52’s classic “Love Shack” and dedicates it to all of the lovers in the room! He is quickly joined by Mercedes, Rachel and Brittany. Blaine, in his ever-so charistmatic way, works the crowd and gets Kurt to join him on stage to finish the song. This is one of the BEST number Glee have ever done. It’s brilliantly performed, staged, choreographed and filmed. A HOME RUN! See for yourself!

While the episode was finished and in the hands of Fox on Friday 2/10/2012, the news of Whitney Houston’s passing one day later prompted the producers to add a dedication at the end of the episode.


This was one of my favorite episodes of Glee, EVER and more than makes up for my disappointment over “The Spanish Teacher”.

Fave Moments:

  • Sometimes if you pay attention to the quick background shots you see a lot of funny things! For example, in the God Squad meeting, the notepad behind Mercedes contained the agenda for the meeting which included: “Pray about Artie’s legs” & “Secretly baptise people”. Brilliant.
  • This episode was practically SUGAR-CENTRIC and the world is NOT MAD. Vanessa Lengies is too adorable for words and I can’t explain how much I love this character. Who woulda thunk it?

Main Beefs:

This episode was pretty much flawless. I do, however, have one concern: Karofsky’s well-being.

Honestly, when the whole bullying saga began in Season 2 I felt like the writers may take this into dark territory given the rash of teen suicides that brought bullying to the forefront of societal consciousness.

As much as I personally would have loved to see him and Kurt turn into a love story, I know it’s not happening now that Darren Criss is one of the show’s most popular stars. I’ve grown attached to Karofsky’s character. I feel there are two ways this might go:

  • Feeling rejected, Dave may revert to anger and lash out – perhaps in cahoots with Sebastian to sabotage Klaine’s relationship. This would be preferrable if only because I think Max Adler is one of the show’s best assets.
  • Given that they included a young man, presumably from Karofsky’s new school into the plot, it is possible that Dave will now be in a very fragile state. His concern about the school finding out about his homosexuality coupled with Kurt’s rejection could mean bad news. While I’m not sure the writers would take it to such a dark place, I do think that teenage suicide is a part of what inspired this storyline and I am sincerely concerned about the character. I will be praying to The Pop Gods that this doesn’t happen. Ryan Murphy, hear our prayer.

Then there was the obvious and not-going-anywhere beef that we still haven’t seen a trace of Ashley Fink since episode 1 of Season 3 and I’m still effing pissed off about it. LAUREN ZICES DOES NOT APPROVE!! Her and Puck were adorable together and there was no real reason to end it. WHY ON EARTH DID YOU END IT? Just so we could see that stupid Puck and Shelby nonsense? Well, at least one good thing came of it (“Constant Craving”)

Next week, we get the last new Glee episode (Titled: “On My Way”) until April 10th and it’s a big one. It’s time for Regionals and spoilers suggest there will be a “HUGE CLIFFHANGER”. Most excitingly, we get the return of the Troubletones (as was promised when they rejoined New Directions) and they’ll be singing current Billboard Hot 100 #1 single “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)” by our Lady of Broken Hearts: Kelly Clarkson.

Check back next week for my thoughts! As always, thank you! and please leave comments 🙂

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