Judgement Day (Special Edition): “Go to Pop Hell!” (Some of) The Worst of 2011!

For the first time since PopMessiah.com was conceived this past October, Judgement Day will delive into the mysterious world of Pop Hell!

Don’t be afraid, Pop Hell isn’t exactly a terrifying place but moreso one that is very hard to take seriously. In addition to eternal fires and barren landscapes, in Pop Hell you’re very likely to find the following:

  • Unlikeable, annoying or offensive Pop Culture personalities and others that are just too cheesy or ridiculous to be tolerated.
  • Super awful/shameful TV shows
  • Terrible trainwreck movies that we love to hate!
  • Novelty songs (i.e. Macarena, The Ketchup Song, Cotton-Eyed Joe)
  • Neon Clothing
  • and last but not least – occasional blunders from our faves! This doesn’t mean that we here at PopMessiah.com truly think these artists are awful, just that they are human and occasionally make big, stinky, steaming mistakes from time to time which honestly, someone needs to tell them the truth about lest they continue to think that sort of thing is ok.

The following is a list of some of the more popular additions (many of which are from our faves…) to Pop Hell from 2011! May we never speak of them again!

Friday – Rebecca Black

I’m sure none of us really need a reminder about this steaming pile, but it was probably the most talked about YouTube video and viral phenomenon of 2011. It’s been parodied and covered by many; The song even ended up getting covered on Glee. It’s disturbingly simply and horribly, HORRIBLY catchy. Watch at your own risk.

Lady Gaga / Edge of Glory (Music Video)

After a rumored three-day video shoot went sour, the flawless track “The Edge of Glory” wound up being the worst Gaga video released to date. To be fair, it’s not that the scenes in the video don’t look good, it’s that the whole thing feels edited together from b-roll footage. Had the scenes from this video been intercut with something else or progressed into more of a narrative, it would have been fine. (i.e. Imagine that the solitary ascent up the fire escape ended on the roof with Clarence Clemons wailing sax up at the moon and dancers?)

Lady Gaga / Born This Way (Standard Edition) (Cover Art)

In case you missed my earlier piece about this awful attrocity of an album cover.  I really.. just.. can’t.

Britney Spears / Femme Fatale (Cover Art)

Don’t get me wrong! Britney’s got a permanent spot upstairs in Pop Heaven, she’s just not allowed to pack any of her album covers, and 2011’s “Femme Fatale” cover art was no exception. Anyone who loves Britney knows there were DOZENS or completely stunning photographs from the album shoot and yet they chose this monstrosity. The arm over the head is awkwardly cropped, her hair looks terrible. It’s just awful. As I have had to do with nearly ALL of Britney’s album releases, I downloaded fan-made covers. Had they gone with a dark, film noire kind of theme it would have been fierce! Luckily the album was amazing.

Britney Spears / Hold It Against Me (Music Video)

A lot of people seemed really impressed by this video when it premiered, but not The Pop Gods. This video surely holds the record for the most blatant product placement in any music video to date. Add to that a completely ridiculous scene where spears sprays neon paint from her fingertips and a lot of awkward and erratic editing to conceal either the rumored dance double or simply hide Britney’s lacking-in-2011 dance skills. Again Stans, I’m a Britney lover but the girl doesn’t have the moves she used to and this video is BENEATH her former (and later) greatness. Amen.

Kanye West / Verse from the Single Mix of Katy Perry’s “E.T.”

I’m 100% team Kanye most days, but the verse he wrote for this completely unnecessary version of “E.T.” was terrible. WIth lyrics like “I’m tryin’ to bathe my ape, in your milky way” and “First I’ll disrobe ya, then I’mma probe ya”, how could we NOT banish him to Pop Hell!!?

The Kardashians / “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” and  “Kourtney & Kim Take New York

Unfortunately for me, Canada’s STAR TV made the change to E! Canada and into my world came the  Kardashian family: a rather infectious but shameful terror I had only previously heard of. A brief and rocky love affair ensued as America’s first family of trash TV went from cute and endearing in their earlier seasons to the fame-hungry marketing monsters they are today. Their never-ending barrage of obviously-scripted “reality TV” shows have crossed such unbelieveable territory (i.e. Kourtney Kardashian getting obsessed with extreme couponing and getting out of control buying regular household items while living in a hotel or Kim’s marriage to/divorce from Kris Humphries, which many speculate was all for show and has been shamelessly used by E! to promote their shows since it was all conveniently captured on camera.)

Films / “Faces In The Crowd


This “psychological thriller” sounded good on paper but was the most predictable and poorly written film I had the pleasure of seeing at this year’s Atlantic Film Festival. I saw it with two friends and recall feeling intimidated to express my early disdain for the film for fear that maybe it was actually really good and I was just the odd man out but by the end of it we were all laughing at presumably serious moments and when the credits started rolling – even the presence of one of the film’s producers in-house wasn’t enough to stop us discussing how very awful it was. Entertaining enough to sit through, but truly an awful mess, the film stars Milla Jovovich as a woman who witnesses a murder and suffers a trauma and as a result, cannot recognize faces – even those of people she sees everyday.

LMFAO


While I admit that I find them as catchy as the next person, I just don’t think I can take anymore PartyRocking. Fun music videos aside, songs like the one below just can’t be tolerated.

Charlie Sheen & The Term “Winning”

While it should be self-explanatory, Sheen’s public breakdown was one of the biggest entertainment news stories of the year. In what was believed to be a drug and alcohol fueled rampage, he used social media to launch a war against his boss, got fired from CBS sitcom “Two & a Half Men”, coined a million bizarre phrases about wizards and tiger’s blood and went on a North American tour to spread his crazy through.. talking.. or whatever! Forgive me for being pessimistic, but part of me wonders if it was all just a huge P.R. Stunt. If so, Charlie Sheen pulled one over on the whole world in 2011. Regardless, he has earned himself a seat right next to the Devil himself in Pop Hell.

The Male Skinny Jean

I’m sorry boys, but The Pop Gods have spoken.

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